“Hold the hand of the child within you. For this child, nothing is impossible.”
On seeing the heading, some people may be wondering, how does one connect with the child within? The best way to connect to the child within is by facing the child through “Mirror Work”. Louise Hay has been the most prominent advocate of Mirror Work for more than four decades now. So, this brings us to the next question, what is Mirror Work? Mirror Work was a method, initially developed as, a way of getting in touch with your inner self. The primary purpose of the Mirror Work is to develop self-love, self-care and more meaningful relationship with others.
I’m sure most of us, when we were children, loved looking at the Mirror and enjoyed talking and spending time with the person in it too. As we grew older, we transformed the way we use the same Mirror; we started to complain about the same person, the way he/she looks (that fat tummy, the colour of skin, etc.), that pimple on the face, so on and so forth. So how do you bring out that child within you? Mirror Work will help build those characters in us, which were an instinct in us, when we were children.
The Mirror Work technique helps self-development in a few ways. It helps in releasing the baggage we carry, forgiveness, confidence-boosting and bringing out the best in you.
Release the baggage: Let me tell you a short story of a Buddhist monk. Once a Monk and his student were walking by the riverside in the jungle. They were on their way back to the monastery; the student was in a flow asking questions and getting answers from his Guru. They saw a young lady sitting next to the riverbank and crying. The Monk asked, “Hey, young lady, why are you crying?”. The lady replied, “I had crossed the river in the morning to get some wood from the jungle. Now the water current has increased, it’s getting dark and I am not able to cross the river.” The Monk said, “do not worry; I will help you cross the river.” The Monk lifted her on his shoulder and dropped her on the other side of the riverbank.
Both the Monk and the student continued their journey after dropping the lady. The student seems restless and had stopped the conversation with the Guru. The Monk noticed this, and after a while, he asked: “What happened, you stopped talking?” The student replied, “you are a monk, and you carried a young lady on your shoulders, how could you do that?” The Monk replied, “I dropped the lady half-an-hour back, but you are still carrying her”. Like in the story, all of us carry baggage of the past with us. We need to learn to release it, and Mirror Work can help us do that. List out a few baggages you can immediately recall. Then stand in front of the Mirror, make an eye to eye contact. Recollect the moment of regret and just say you are going to release the baggage saying, “whatever happened, has happened and it was because of the situation. I would like to come out of it and release the burden.” Remove the burden from your shoulder and do this for all the baggages you are carrying. This process will help people to even reduce weight. By people, I meant those who are doing everything right about their diet and exercise regimen but, are still struggling to reduce weight. This process will help reduce weight. The moment you release your baggage, you will begin feeling lighter.
Forgiveness: People who find it difficult to forgive should consider one thing, Forgiveness is for our own benefit not the one who is forgiven. It helps us grow and stay happy too. When you hold on to hurt, pain, resentment and anger, it harms you far more than it harms the offender. Forgiveness frees you to live in the present. Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment. Forgiveness is for both, the self and for the person who is forgiven. Mirror Work will act as the best mode for forgiveness. Stand in front of the Mirror and think of the person whom you want to forgive. Then with no ego, forgive the person and release the person from your mind. This method should not be to show that you are a good person (which is ego), instead to free your mind and to free yourself. It’s normal and okay to feel upset. If you feel the need to cry, let yourself – you are releasing old ways of being, and that is powerful Work! In this process, you are assuring yourself that you would like to forgive and move on in life, which is more important.
Confidence booster: Mirror Work plays a vital role as a confidence booster. Before any crucial presentations or public appearances or a key event in life, along with visualisation, do the Mirror Work. Stand in front of the Mirror and tell yourself things like, “I am courageous, and I can do it” & “I am competent, smart and able” etc. These will Work as confidence booster. This practice will help kill the nervousness in you before you do anything. It works best early in the morning, you could do this while you brush your teeth.
Best of you: Along with forgiveness and releasing the baggage methods, this will help in realising your potential. Most of the earlier points were focusing on people outside of you but, this process is purely for self-development. Talk to the child in you to know your potential. First thing in the morning in front of the bathroom Mirror, thank yourself and say to yourself “Today is a new day and I am going to be my best” (or create your own affirmation). Talk good about yourself in front of the Mirror, straight into your eyes. Think of the child in you who is fearless, confident and ready to conquer the world. The child in you is always bubbly and happy. Every time you are down or sad, do the Mirror Work and tell yourself “You are good at whatever you are doing, and you can bounce back anytime”. Create a few motivational affirmations yourself, to help boost your confidence. Affirmations created by self are more powerful than the ones available online. Bring out the child in you, and you will realize that, the sky is the limit!
Well, Mirror Work can play an essential part in our lives. Choose the best time for you in the day to do it, as you would need time without distractions. There are no conventional methods of doing Mirror Work – although you can try the 21-day practice developed by Louise Hay and mentioned in her book.
Very well expressed and written. I’m so glad I read this. The only thing to fear is fear itself.
You’re very welcome, Pavan. 🙂
This post is spot on! Thank you for this! I needed to read it!
Very nice Pavan